Off The Charts

Over the past few months, dad has not followed the "normal" decline of a male, 60 years old, with a relatively healthy lifestyle. His decline was what the doctors might consider "off the charts", and not in a positive way.

By the end of January 2019, dad was finally going to be seen by the clinic who was keeping a close eye on his levels (multiple blood tests weekly). This was somewhat of a relief, or was it? I still really didn't understand why nothing was really being done. I was a blood match, why couldn't we start the transplant process? I was tired of hearing that dad was a puzzle, that he didn't quite fit the normal charts. WHY ARE YOU SO HUNG UP ON THE STATISITICS? My dad is NOT a number! I didn't understand why they would continue to just "monitor" someone who had so quickly declined over the last 4 months? As we meet with the clinical team, they changed up some of his current medications, more blood work. They are puzzled but are monitoring him closely. This took a toll not only on his physical health, but his mental health as well. This was not the man we knew, my dad never wanted to give up. But at this point, I didn't blame him one bit. I felt so incredibly angry for him, angry our system let him get this sick, and angry that at this point there was nothing I could do to help him. His family, his doctors, his friends, everyone kept telling him he was going to feel better. When infact, over the last year, he had only felt worse time and time again.

By late February, dad had become very ill. Creatinine levels were increasing rapidly, and potassium levels were at a dealthly measure. During the month of February, dad had been hospitalized multiple times.

March 3 2019 - my competitive showcase day. As sick as dad was, as exhausted as my mom was, they both came to showcase. They still showed up! But dad did not look good at all. He was really struggling. My studio needed me, my dancers needed me, I will worry about my dad tomorrow.